The curse of YO MOMMA
by Inyoface
Summary: Max is cursed. By who? By yo momma! This curse has turned him into a younger version of his Mother, and the only way to break the curse is to participate and win 'Date my Mom'. And guess who's the mystery contestant...! Dedicated to chocolatexloverx16


**Disclaimer: I don't own 'Beyblade' or 'Date my Mom'**

**A/N: This is part 1 of 2. Okay, I apologize if this is lame, not funny and kinda messed up. Usually, I don't write these kind of stories, I'm no good with humour. I got the idea in the middle of the night… and as a matter of fact, I wrote it in the middle of the night too. So yea, it sucks. And the word 'boobies' is way too prevalent. Anyways, enjoy (or not).**

**By the way, special thanks to chocolatelover for giving me the amazing idea for the mystery contestant on 'Date My Mom'. Love you!**

xxx

_Prologue_

Long, long time ago, in a town, far, far away, there was a Mom. But not just any Mom. It was YOUR MOM. And your Mom was very pissed. Well no shit, she had just given birth to you... Anyways, she was all annoying about having put on weight and not losing it easily like the pregnant teens in Hollywood films always do, so she decided to do the only thing possible to fulfil her wish of getting back into her size 8 pants:

Exercise!

However that didn't work out, so she started to get mega pissy and decided to do an outrageously evil thing:

Curse every single person that would order a Double-Chicken-Burger with extra mayo, a M&M McFlurry, and then 20 Barbeque Chicken Kebabs from 'Hungry Olav's Original Kebab Buffet' (in that order) while, of course, being resident in Sheffieldtonfieldville, North Carolina.

However the chances of that chain of events occurring where highly unlikely, since there was only one 'Hungry Olav's Original Kebab Buffet' on the globe, and this one was located in Leicestersharetonvillage. The neighbour town of Sheffieltoinfieldville. And the residents of those two towns truly hated each other. As deeply as a slinkee hates dust. All due an incident involving an R-rated act with the Mayor's vacuum. So of course there would be no occasion in which a resident from Sheffieltonfielsville, North Carolina would ever eat a meal prepared in Leicestershartonvillage, North Carolina.

That was, until Max and his MOM moved to town. Max was very aware of the oh so erotic relationships of these two towns and their residents. However, he didn't think much on it. He was too occupied by amusing himself with the original Sheffieldtonfielville activities, like watching paint dry and accompanying ones uncle to secret abandoned sheds in the woods, to give him a 'massage'. At the height of little Maxie's entertainment, his friend Tyson called in and announced that him and the other Bladebreakers would come for a visit. Maxie decided to wait until the last minute, to get his guests food, so that it would still be hot and steamy like a lover's cave once these arrived. However something very shocking and unexpected occurred, that caused his wisely worked out plan to brittle into microscopic dust corns:

PUBERTY!

Once Max had arrived at the McDonald's, he hit puberty. Hence, he labelled the Girl at the Drive-through as 'haaaaaawt!' and got too ashamed to make a large scale order. So after having ordered only a couple of things, to seem like an ambitious athlete to the 'haaaawt!' Girl, he started panicking. Where should he get some food for his friends. If he'd get it in any other place in town, it would be _the_ village gossip on the next day, and the 'haaaaawt!'girl would hear about it. So he decided to get down and dirty:

By buying food in Leicestershartonvillage!

Maxie had never expected that he off all the people would sink down to that level. But it had been so tempting, and so easy! It took him only about five minutes and then he returned to his Crib with 20 hot and steaming BBQ Chicken Kebabs…

x

x

x

_Amazing Middle, Part 1_

'Oh wow, Maxie I love you!' Tyson yelled, and gave the kid a passionate, R-rated hug.

'Tyson, chill out, it's only food.' Kenny, the chiller, said.

Kenny had gotten extremely chilled after his doctor had advised him to stop worrying too much, because of his high blood pressure. Ever since, Kenny had been the pimp of chillness. He was so chilled, he even forgot to touch himself at night, which Dizzie, who was always sleeping next to him on the floor, was very delighted about!

The five BFF homies (not counting Hilary, because nobody liked her) sat together on the floor of Max' apartment. This was, because Max' Mom (more commonly known as Max' MILF) had decided that she was 'too cool' for furniture. Speaking of the devil, Max' MILF came inside the room to bring them some orange juice. Why? Because liquor was for pussies!

(which is why Rei had Vodka).

'Speaking of YO MOM, the Kebab's are nice and hot too.' Tyson commented.

'Tyson, we weren't speaking of my Mom.' Max reminded him. 'Besides, what does she have to do with hot food?'

'Nothing!' Everyone replied in unison.

'Wait a second, you are all perving on my Mom.' Maxie realised.

'That's a lie!' Rei yelled.

'A lie, a lie!' Tyson insisted. 'All of us are not perving on YO MOM.'

'When I say 'all of you' it excludes Hilary.' Max informed them.

'Oh, in that case you're right…'

Maxie got up on his feet and crossed his arms. 'You guys know what that means?'

'You're gonna hate us forever and not want to be our friend anymore?' Tyson suggested.

'No. It means that Kenny actually likes humans! This calls for a sexy party!' Max yelled and then stripped off his shirt. Everyone else followed him in this act, as Maxie was a leader almost as persuasive as Hitler. Then they did the Macarena.

'Oh wow Maxie, your man boobs are bigger than Kai's!' Tyson suddenly expressed.

'No way!' Kai yelled and protectively covered up his man boobies. 'Mine are waaaaay bigger.'

'Nu-ah!' Maxie countered. 'Yours are triple A's compared to my Oompa Loompa's.'

Kai affectionately patted his cute, little man boobs. 'Well, mine are nicer shaped than yours.'

'Hey, I don't wanna be the pessimist of the group, but actually yours have grown to a rather exaggerated size, Max. Maybe you should consider cutting down on chest work-outs.' Hilary said.

'Piss off Hilary, nobody wants you here.' Kenny told her.

Hilary ran off sobbing. 'My Momma says I'm special!'

'Your Dad doesn't love you! And you're adopted!' Kenny yelled at her back.

But Hilary didn't hear him, she was suppressing all sounds like Tyson would suppress an erection during Math class (yes, during Math class!).

'Phew, glad that she's gone.' Rei sighted. 'By the way Maxie, I never really noticed how much you indeed resemble YOUR MOM. It's quite remarkable.'

'Nay, I don't reall…' Max had meant to finish that sentence. But he was interrupted by Tyson's finger pointing and inconsiderately rude screaming:

'BOOBIES!'

'Tyson, we all know you're kinda horny and stuff, but do you mind not informing us about every weird fetish thought that pops into your mind. Especially not if it involves anyone of us.' Kai hissed.

But Tyson didn't stop. In fact, he didn't even lift his finger off Max and instead started poking at said guy's chest, with a strangely fascinated look on his face, just like an Urologist analysing a urine sample.

'BOOBIES!'

Then Rei joined him. 'BOOBIES!'

Kenny got involved in the entire groping action as well, the only difference was that he yelled 'Boobies' instead of 'BOOBIES!' because he was chill.

Kai sighed. 'You guys are so damn immature!' he sighed again. 'I can't believe you're choosing size over shape. Only hormone imbalanced teenagers do that!'

'BOOBIES!' Tyson replied, still not taking his hands off Max.

'BOOBIES!' Rei added in agreement.

This was getting too much for poor, big breasted little Maxie. He pushed the two hustlers off himself and mumbled something on the line of: 'This is getting freaky.'

'Oh yes it is.' Kai confirmed with a malicious smile on his face. That Max sure deserved freakiness for attempting to over man him in the size of man boobs.

'BOOBIES!'

Tyson, Rei and Kenny started walking up to Max like a bunch of brain dead zombies, while singing 'boobies, boobies, boobies' to the rhythm of military marching.

'Oh stop it you morons, I'm going to put my shirt back on.' Max hissed and put it dorky, yellow polo back on that made him look like an IKEA employee.

Rei and Tyson decided to burst out laughing, immensely proud of their accomplishment of having gotten Maxie freaked out.

'So what should we do now?' Tyson asked, after he had calmed down.

Max started blushing. 'Actually, I have a strange urge to watch the 'Sex and the City'-movie.'

'Woah mate, I think your brain is starting to shut down, maybe we should all go to bed now, after all, we have to get up early.' Rei said.

'Why exactly do we have to get up early?' Max asked confused.

'Oh come on, you know what's on TV tomorrow morning at 8 am?'

His friends didn't know, so poor, poor Rei had to go through the almost unbearable effort of explaining it to them:

'It's Spongebob time!'

Agreeing with Rei that it was indeed a good reason, they all split up to go to their bed rooms, apart from Kenny, because he was chill, too chill to stress about not getting enough sleep…

xxx - xxx - xxx

The next morning was exceptionally beautiful. The birds were singing, cocks were humping chickens (oh yes, they were pedo cocks!) and all in all it was just wonderful. Why? Because the narrator says so! Then suddenly all the happy atmosphere was turned dark and evil as a high pitched scream broke the silence.

'Ahhh. I've turned into a woman.'

This scream caused the Bladebreakers and Max' MILF to run towards Max bedroom, which was where the scream had originated from. Out came Maxie wearing a baggy T-shirt. The T-shirt did a good job at covering the breast up, but these weren't ordinary Oompa-Loompa's, these were Oompa-Loompa's containing the gene code of Judy Tate. Hence, they were still very obvious under the shirt.

'Oh my gosh, it's a mini-me!' Max' MILF squeaked.

However the happiness was not shared by everyone (actually it was only Max' MILF that occupied this happiness).

'The boobies are covered up.' the boobies-club observed with disappointment in their voices. 'We need to find a new purpose in life.'

But then suddenly a smile conquered Tyson's sad face as he had an epiphany. 'Wait Max, does that mean you're a girl now?'

Max nodded with tears in his eyes.

Tyson turned to Rei, with an even bigger smile on his face:

'You know what this means Rei? We saw a girls breasts! High-five!'

Rei poked Tyson. 'Did you see nipple? It only counts if you see nipple.'

Kai shook his head. 'Well obviously he did, it's not like Max was covering up or anything.'

'In that case…' Rei smirked. 'HIGH FIVE!'

TBC

_So what will happen? Will the boobies-club find a new purpose in life? Will Kai get over the fact that his man boobs just don't beat Maxie's? Does Hilary's Dad really not love her? And who is the mystery contestant on 'Date My Mom'? That and more you will find out in the second half of 'The curse of YO MOMMA'._

_R&R_

**xxx - xxx - xxx**

**Okay, now this is done, I meant to write it about 4 months ago. Yea I suck. By the way the part were Rei says: 'Did you see nipple, it only counts if you see nipple.' is an actual quote by Rei's voice actor. However not in Beyblade but in 'Mean Girls'. Chocolatelover and I watched that movie for the soul purpose to perv at Rei's voice actor who stars in it (he's hot!), and wow, hearing Rei say those words is simultaneously hilarious and disturbing.**


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